Even if it breaks my heart into pieces
by chappychan03
Summary: What if the one you love with all your heart doesn't love you back? Will you accept the painful truth and learn to let go? Ichiruki!
1. Prologue  Untold feelings

**Even if it breaks my heart into pieces**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach **

**Prologue: Untold Feelings**

**Rukia's POV**

The wind was cold, announcing the coming winter month. It moves gently along the deserted street of Karakura Town. Honestly, I do really love winter months. I like the way the cold breeze caress my pale cheeks that brought shiver to my bones. But today, it wasn't the cold breeze that made me feel more excited and nervous. The excitement was brought to me by a certain orange boy who happened to be my best friend. I'm going to confess about my feelings for him. I spend the whole week pondering about it before calling my Substitute Shinigami to meet me at the park without telling him why. Maybe it won't be that bad for our relationship to turn into another phase. But the problem is, would he feel the same way? I mean he's the hottest guy at school. His fan girls would do anything just to grab his precious attention. Most of all, I'm nothing compared to those girls who follow him every day. I'm small, pale, boyish, and no big boobs. Would he even find me attractive? Too bad…

But no matter what reason I gave, I always found myself falling for him even more. I…I really love him to the point that it hurt me so much, knowing that he doesn't even know about it. He means the whole world to me. I love everything about him, his unique orange hair, his height that mocked me all the time, his scowl that never leave his handsome face, his badass attitude that looks cute for him, the way he smile which was very often, the way he teased my drawing skills, the way he protects me, the way he rescue me on the execution pole, the way his amber eyes look… I felt heat rushed to my pale cheeks. I stopped myself before I say something that was out of my character. I'm a Kuchiki, I shouldn't be thinking something like that. Nii-sama would be very disappointed if ever he heard me saying something like that. But I smiled playfully, knowing Nii-sama wasn't here.

Upon reaching the park, I scanned the place for an orange boy which was not too hard to notice. But the time I laid my eyes on him, my world started to shatter; my hopes turned into ashes and flew along the now harsh wind of November. My whole body froze and felt numb, I couldn't even move my feet to run away from here. I just stand there while watching how Ichigo kissed Inoue passionately and not caring to those people who passed by. They were too absorbed to what they were doing. They looked so happy on their own little world. Without any warning tears started to fall from my violet orbs. And a very soft sob escaped my now trembling lips. For the second time in my whole life my heart broke again into thousand pieces. But today was the worst; even the tears couldn't ease the pain.

And from that moment, I felt helpless; hopeless and pathetic.

##

Be gentle, this is my first fanfic! ^^


	2. Chapter 1 – I wanted to believe that too

**Even if it breaks my heart into pieces**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach **

**Tnx for the reviews!**

**Chapter 1 – I wanted to believe that too…**

Rukia ran home while wiping the tears on her cheeks using the backs of her trembling hands. Seeing Ichigo after that would be too unbearable for her. She opened the room she shared with Ichigo's twin sisters. The twins were too occupied to notice her coming. Knowing she needed a place to be alone, she left the room. Walking without knowing where to go, she found herself face to face with Ichigo's room. She opened the door and went inside his warm closet. She lied down while sobbing very hard for the first time.

But how can she blame Ichigo for breaking her heart if he even doesn't know that she loves him? She can't even blame Inoue because she's her best friend, aside from that she knew she has a thing for Ichigo. But… she couldn't stop herself from falling apart. It's like half of your heart is dying and your world suddenly stopped spinning.

"I'm so pathetic", she whispered quietly between her sobs. Tears from her violet orbs falls endlessly on her pale cheeks. Suddenly, sleeps slowly took her over.

###

Ichigo opened his room and sat on his chair while facing his own desk. He was looking for Rukia for almost an hour now and he couldn't find her elsewhere. He even asked his sisters on her whereabouts, but he found the useless. He's tired and all he wanted to do now was to sleep on his comfy bed. But before that he needed to see Rukia. To ask why she didn't showed up at the park. Knowing she's not here too brought another reason for him to worry even more. What if she returned to Soul Society without telling him? It scared the shit out of him. The hell he'll ever let that happen. He swore that if she returned there without enough reason he'll follow her just to drag her home. All her struggles and objections will be rejected! It's been two years now after he persuade her to stay with him and he's still scared that she might ran away. He doesn't know why he acted that way. But one thing was for sure, he's happy whenever he knows that her reatsui was nearby. He won't let her leave as long as he likes it. He sounds selfish but he doesn't care.

'What's the matter with that midget!,' he pondered quietly.

He's now getting more worried!

As he stood to look for her, he heard some noises coming from his closet. He opened it quietly. And after an hour of searching, he found the girl that he's looking for, sleeping soundly on his closet. He sighed in relief knowing she didn't left him. He watched her closely and carefully. She looks so peaceful in her sleeps. He smiled at himself, having the luxury to watch Rukia on her sleeps which she hated so much. She looked so vulnerable and weak, the reason why he doesn't want her to leave alone for her missions without him.

He touched her pale shoulders and shook her gently.

"Rukia…"

She doesn't move. Another shook.

"Rukia…"

No response.

"RUKIA, GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP!", he shouted.

Rukia's amethyst orb flew opened and met the amber ones. He detected some disbelief on her eyes. She tried to sit on his closet properly.

"I… Ichigo?", she asked with a tired voice.

"You made me worried so much and all you could say was my name? Didn't you know that I spend an hour looking for your midget ass?", he said with some hint of irritation.

He earned a kick to the shin from Rukia.

"AHHH!... What was that for?" he screamed at her.

"That's for calling me midget, you fool!," she revealed.

'You'll pay for this midget', he thought evilly.

"Where have you been? You told me that you wanted to meet me at the park?" Ichigo was trying to ease the pain on his shin.

From those words, the scene she tried to forget played again on her exhausted mind.

"Sorry, I forgot about the park. I overslept on your closet. I have to go to my room to rest. See you later at dinner, Ichigo." Rukia tried to hide her eyes from his, scared that he might see that she's lying. He knows her like the back of his hand, and he could read her like an open book. She immediately stood up and grabs the doorknob to escape. But before she completed the act, a rough hand grabs her wrist to stop her from leaving. She gave him a questionable look.

"I won't buy that. Don't lie to me, Rukia. I knew that there's something wrong."He gave her a very serious look.

"I'm not lying, you fool! Don't be too paranoid!" She said with a hint of anger on her voice.

"STOP THIS BULLSHIT RUKIA! TELL ME THE TRUTH! YOU WON'T CALL ME IN THE FIRST PLACE IF THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG! DON'T ACT AS THOUGH YOU'RE STRONG WHEN THE TRUTH WAS YOU'RE NOT!", he shouted.

"SHUT UP! DAMN IT! I'M NOT THAT WEAK, SO WATCH YOUR MOUTH KUROSAKI ICHIGO!", She gave him a death glare that lead him to let go of her wrist.

"You don't have to hide anything from me, we're friends, aren't we?" he asked her with all the calm expression he could muster.

"Fool. Trust me I won't hide anything from you."She lied.

"Rukia, remember that no matter what happened I'll be by your side. I won't leave you."He gave her a pleasant smile.

"You don't have to say that, I already knew it even from the start", she lied again. Rukia turned around and leave the room. She wanted to cry but she couldn't. She pondered his last words and a bitter smile escaped her now trembling lips.

'I wanted to believe that too Ichigo, but it's hard… especially now,' she sadly went away from him.


	3. Chapter 2  I won't hurt her…

**Even if it breaks my heart into pieces**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach **

**Tnx for the reviews!**

zero09q – tnx. I'll try my best to follow your advice! ^^ I really appreciated it!

falconrukichi – tnx for all the reviews!

**Chapter 1 – I won't hurt her…**

I was walking for school together with my substitute orange haired shinigami. His bag was slammed over his broad shoulder. His scowl was still there but today it was different, it was soft. I know the reason why. And knowing the reason behind it was more painful than seeing what happened yesterday.

My mind was out somewhere when suddenly he looked at me with curiosity. I blushed as his amber eyes met my violet orbs. I was hoping with all my might that he won't see my tinted cheeks!

"Hey midget, you're spacing out again. Are you Ok?" he asked me with concern.

And with that I gave him a hard blow on his shin.

"You stupid fool! How dare you to call me midget," I shouted.

"And how dare you to call me a fool?" he shouted back.

"Because that's true, you are a stupid idiot for a strawberry!" I teased him.

Blush crept on his tanned face.

"You…," He didn't dare to finish the sentence, scared that I might give him another painful blow.

I watched him whimpered in pain, and I silently enjoyed our small bickering, knowing that someday we won't be able to do it again.

'_Ichigo, if you're going to choice between me and Inoue, who would you choose?_ ' I asked him silently. _'Would you prefer to be with me if I suddenly confess my feelings to you? Or would you break my heart just like what you did yesterday?'_ But the truth is…he already chosen Inoue over me since the day I saw him kissing her. It pained me so much, like my heart was stabbed by millions of invisibles zanpakatou.

"Rukia, there's something I wanted you to know." He said while holding his abused shin.

"What is it?", I kindly asked him.

"I and Inoue were now officially boyfriend and girl friend, and I wanted you to be the first person to know about it."He said while blushing.

I felt my heart stings a bit. Without him knowing, he once again broke my heart into dust.

"Co…congratulations for the both of you," I gave him a fake smile. Wishing he wouldn't notice.

"Arigatou, Rukia,"he smiled at me.

"Don't be so polite Baka, it doesn't suit you well!" I laughed.

"You bitchy woman!" he hissed at me.

"Hey, watch your foul mouth Kurosaki; I might give it a lesson. Don't treat a woman like that," I gave him a warning look.

"Don't tell me what to do, midget!" he shouted.

I'm about to give him another kick when a very sweet voice broke our small bickering.

"kuchiki-san! Kurosaki-kun!"

We both looked at the intruder.

"Inoue?" he blushed terribly which didn't escaped unnoticed by me.

"How's your day, Kurosaki-kun?" she said while hugging the arm of her boyfriend.

"I'm fine, How about you Inoue?" he grabbed her hand and entwined their fingers together. I could see how Orihime blushed terribly. I felt out of place and an intruder to their sweet moments. I don't want to hear any of their conversation. I just let them lead the way and stayed behind the happy couple. I watched their hands feel each other's warmth. If only I don't feel anything for that carrot-top, I'll do anything just for them to have a happily ever after story, but unfortunately life is too cruel, too harsh and too unpredictable, everything I wanted so much drift away from my grasp.

"Kuchiki-san!" A very innocent voice broke my thoughts and stopped me from walking. Orihime was looking at me while placing her hands at my front for me to grab. I hesitated for a moment before I finally grab it.

"I really like you so much Kuchiki-san!" she said while smiling. I felt guilty for some reasons that I really don't know.

"I like you too Inoue," I gave her my sweetest smile. I watched how her left hand holds mine and her right hand holds Ichigo's.

I looked down and I frowned to myself. _'I can't hate her, I really can't. I really like her and she's my best friend' _I thought sadly. I watched at her as her gray orbs stares at the amber ones with love. I shouldn't be thinking too much… I shouln't…


	4. Chapter 3  You're getting married

**Even if it breaks my heart into pieces**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach **

**Chapter 3– You're getting married…**

Rukia entered the room with a very odd expression etched on her now tired face. She's neither happy nor sad. Every student inside the room eyed her with curiosity. She looks weird when she doesn't even greet them using her sweet high school girl act. She even ignored Keigo's cry of love for her. They asked her if there was something wrong, but she just shrugged her shoulders and continued to stares at the black board.

It's been 2 years since the winter war, everything turns back to normal. Ichigo begged Rukia to stay here; luckily Ukitake-taichiou gave her a new post as the Karakura town's official Shinigami with the help of her Substitute. She felt grateful, especially when her nii-sama gave his blessing for her to accept the mission. Living with her nakamas, Rukia was very happy beyond measure, but right now there was something inside her heart that tells her that she doesn't belong in here anymore. She felt more depressed upon pondering this stupid kind of thoughts, so she placed her head on her arms and signed heavily.

'_This kind of emotion is useless'_, she thought sadly, not noticing a certain angry strawberry was standing in front of her.

"DAMN IT RUKIA!" he shouted angrily at the raven haired girl. The said girl jumped in surprise ignoring the fact that her classmates were giving them a very suspicious glare. Ichigo was clenching his fist more firmly than usual and staring at her with fury.

"WHY DID YOU LEAVE US OUTSIDE THE GATE WITHOUT EVEN GIVING US A WARNING? DIDN'T YOU KNOW THAT I WAS GETTING TOO DAMN WORRIED WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT YOU'RE MISSING?" his amber eyes were fixed on hers not even daring to blink.

"Why are you so worked out about that? It's not a big deal! Do I have to spell it out to you that I don't need your protection?" everyone gasped in surprise upon hearing her retort, but she just ignored it, she was too focused on this idiot to notice everyone's reaction.

"OF COURSE IT'S A BIG DEAL! WHAT IF THE REASON YOU LEFT US IS TO EXTINGUISH SOME HOLLO…"

"KUROSAKI-KUN!" Rukia shouted with all the force she could muster.

Ichigo flinched a bit upon hearing Rukia shouting his surname. He doesn't know why, but he doesn't like Rukia calling him like that. It doesn't fit her. He was about to retort when…

"Kurosaki, will you please act as a seventeen years old guy and not as a seven year old boy" Ishida gave Ichigo a very disappointed look.

"I'm not asking your opinion, Ishida!" he glared at him.

"And I'm not giving you my opinion, bastard! Aside from that, you didn't change at all; you're still the hot headed Kurosaki brat that easily jumps to conclusion without even giving any second thought." Ishida pushed back his eye glass with an annoyed expression.

"YOU…" Ichigo was about to retort when Ochi-sensei entered the classroom followed by a blushing Orihime.

"Kurosaki, would you please share the topic that you were discussing with Ishida? Is it really important that you have to yell? Your voice carried along the hall way." She placed her hands on against her hips.

Blush started to form on Ichigo's cheek. He saw Rukia sighed heavily while he took his own seat. _'Stupid Ishida,'_ he thought angrily while thinking hard how to escape this stupid situation.

"Ochi-sensei, Kurosaki-kun was just asking Ishida-kun about the subject we're going to discuss today," Orihime smiled sweetly to their sensei while taking her own seat.

"And how the hell did you know that Inoue? You're with me at the office!" Ochi-sensei scowled at her.

"Umm…err…" Orihime was fidgeting, not knowing how to answer.

"So you're just trying to help your boy friend escape this situation? What a very kind girl friend you've got here, Kurosaki" Ochi-sensei smirked at the newly couple.

The said couple blushed terribly, while the whole class started to whisper something about the shocking news.

Rukia sighed more heavily; this was the reason why she left Ichigo and Inoue along the school gate. She hated being asked by the students how Ichigo and Inoue end up together. She's not ready to answer that kind of question.

"Ochi-sensei, I'm sorry, it's my fault," Rukia stood up and tried her best to use her acting skills. She shed some faked tears and started to wipe it using her handkerchief. "I forgot to tell Kurosaki-kun about the exam which was going to take place today. And because of that he didn't able to study his lessons. Ishida-kun tried to defend me that lead for both of them to argue." Rukia started to sob hard. Everyone felt sorry for her, "It's all my fault sensei, I'm sorry!"

Ochi-sensei started to feel sorry for the raven haired girl. While Uryuu made a face palm, and Ichigo was amazed on how Rukia's perfect acting skills made Ochi-sensei believed it without any doubt_. 'That bitch, he tried to sell me again!'_ he mentally cursed Rukia.

Ochi-sensei wiped away her own tears, "You may take your seat Kuchiki-san, and it's all Kurosaki's fault. I'll let it passed for now kurosaki! But once you do it again, I swear, you'll going to regret being born!" She glared at the orange-haired boy with venom.

Ichigo sighed heavily and ignored his sensei's death treat. He eyed Rukia who sat beside her and watched as she once again placed her head on her arms. He smiled a bit and wrote something on a piece of paper. He crumpled the paper and throws it to Rukia.

The paper made its way to Rukia's head that made the said girl jump a bit. She picked the crumpled paper and read its content.

'_Hey Rukia, umm… thanks for helping me, but you don't have to sell me again like that, stupid midget. And I don't need you to defend me like that; I can take care of myself. And about what happened earlier, I'm sorry for shouting at you, I'm just too worried for your own sake; we're nakamas, aren't we? I'm just a very protective type of person, I'm sorry. Please forgive me?'_

_Ichigo_

Rukia stared at the crumpled paper more firmly. _'So that's what am I to you, Kurosaki Ichigo, a mere nakama,'_ she smiled bitterly._' At least you still cared for me.' _She cast a glance at her strawberry. She smiled at him with all the happiness she could muster. He glanced at Rukia and smiled at her too. He knew her too well, that smile means she already forgiven him. That's how their special relationship works.

#####

"AH! ICHIGO, I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT! CLASS IS OVER AND YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE ME AGAIN!" Keigo cried out with false tears while running along the hallway to give Ichigo a bear hug. But instead of a hug, he was greeted by a hard blow from Ichigo that send him to the grounds.

"That was a great punch you've got there Ichigo, it seems like Keigo will suffer a long time of sleep for a while." Muzuiro laughed silently and stares at the now scowling Ichigo. "I never thought that Inoue would be able to handle a kind of guy like you. She's too fragile for you."

"Shut up, Muzuiro! And it's Keigo's own fault. He never changed at all." Ichigo muttered, while eyeing Muzuiro who tried to help Keigo on his feet.

"So how's Inoue-san?" Mizuiro asked him seriously.

"She's fine, she's fun to hang out with," he answered while blushing.

"Honestly I never thought that you and Inoue-san will someday end up together. I mean both of were not that close."He smiled at Ichigo.

"What makes you think like that?" he asked him suspiciously.

"Never mind," He dragged Keigo along the hallway, "I have to take Keigo to the nurse's clinic." And he disappeared on Ichigo's sight.

Ichigo was about to follow Muzuiro to ask him about what he wanted to imply, when someone grasped his arm.

"Kurosaki-kun," a lovely voice stopped him on his track. There stood his girl friend, smiling at him. He was stunned by the beauty of his sweet girl. He doesn't know why, but he always acts so nice and soft to this woman which he doesn't do to any other girl, even to Rukia. Maybe the reason was she's a very special girl. Her heart was filled with so much sorrow, but she could still smile and help others to recover their own happiness, that's how made her so special.

"Inoue," he smiled at her.

"You're spacing out again, kurosaki-kun," she pouted at him.

"Really?" he blushed a bit.

"Are you ready?" she once again smiled at him.

"Of course I am, wait me here, I have to do something very important," he ran along the now empty hallway.

Orihime watched his boyfriend ran away from her. A small smile escaped her lips.

'I'll wait for you, Kurosaki-kun,' she mentally assured him.

######

Rukia was cleaning her own desk when suddenly Ichigo barged in and stood in front of her.

"Hey Rukia, I won't be able to walk home with you." He suddenly couldn't look straight into her eyes, and he doesn't know the reason why.

"I understand," she smiled brightly at him. "You've got a date with Inoue, right?"

"Ho…how did you…"

"I can read it through your eyes; you look so excited and nervous." She silently laughed at him. "You're easy to read, Ichigo." She pouted her lips in a child-like manner.

"The truth is, it's our first date and…"

"You don't have to explain everything to me; I have no rights to know something so personal to you. And don't worry; I can take care of myself." She gave him an assuring smile.

"Che! As if you can! By the way, if there's a hollow don't hesitate to call me. If you don't, brace yourself, I swear, I'll skin you alive!" He warned her.

"Fine!" She lied. She doesn't want to ruin his first date.

"Deal?"

"Deal!" She sighed.

"Ok! I've got to go! See you later at home!" He shouted back as he left the now empty classroom.

Rukia watched Ichigo's retreating form. She placed her right hand against her chest and slowly bowed down her head. Her dark locks were now shadowing her violet orbs. She once again picked up the crumpled paper inside her bag which was thrown to her by Ichigo. She slowly opened the paper and once again stares at it sadly.

"Nakama," She whispered silently with a little hint of pain. She pulled out a pen and draws a heart around the word nakama. She sighed sadly and clenched her hand firmly against the paper. She just sat there, alone and staring at the paper with sadness in her now darkened eyes which was very hard to read.

'Crazy Kuchiki Rukia,' she mentally scolded herself.

######

A dark cloud started to form in the flawless sky of Karakura Town; it was unnoticed by Rukia who walked along the empty street. She was lost in thought when suddenly she collided with someone that sent her to the grounds.

"Spacing out again, aren't we?" said by a familiar voice.

"Renjie?"

"I thought you already forgotten my name." Renjie held out his hand to help her stood up, but Rukia slapped his hand away and tried to stand by herself.

"Just as expected from a Kuchiki." He teased her.

Rukia stood up and brushed away the dirt that clung to her skirt.

"What the hell do you want?" She sarcastically asked him.

"Watch your mouth Rukia, a noble shouldn't be saying any nasty words." He glared at her.

"For all I know I don't want to behave like a noble, so keep your lectures to yourself Renjie."

She really missed this guy after two years of no communication from Soul Society.

"So why are you here? Just to give me that crappy lectures of yours?" She placed her arms against her modest chest.

"You haven't change at all. I've got some news for you." He said seriously.

"Good or bad?"

"It depends on you."

"So what is it?" She asked curiously.

"You're getting married!" He finally told her.

Once words escaped his mouth, Rukia's jaw dropped open.


	5. Chapter 4  Follow me

**Even if it breaks my heart into pieces**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach **

**Tnx for the reviews! Sorry for the looong wait!**

**Chapter 4 – Follow me…**

"What the hell are you talking abou, Renji?" Rukia's eyes grew wide with disbelief.

"I was talking about your impending marriage with one of the nobles in Soul Society." Renji watched as Rukia slowly glared at him with 'don't-joke-about-things-like-that' look.

"Rukia listen," He sighed heavily, knowing how stubborn Rukia was. "I know how much you hated arranged marriage that's why I won't lie to you. The nobles wrote some request to the Kuchiki's for your hand in marriage."

Rukia slowly dropped her head and hid her eyes beneath her bangs away from Renji's penetrating stares.

"Is it my Niisama's plan?" More as a statement than a question.

"No, it's from the elder's of the Kuchiki clan and Central 46."

"Central 46?" She immediately stared at him with her eyes as big as saucers.

"Central 46 is getting worried about the future of your clan inside the Soul Society. For the honor of his beloved wife, Kuchiki-taichou might remain single for the rest of his life. And if he does changed his mind, they were scared that he might do the same mistake and marry again someone outside the noble families. So in place of your brother, you're going to marry some noble. And as for that, they accepted the marriage request from Mimasa family to produce a heir in no time."

"And what if I don't?" Her energetic eyes turned lifeless.

"The future of your clan as one of the nobles might apparently disappeared, and it's powers and fame will eventually stripped from it due to lack of heir to hold the clan firmly in the near future. It might also raise some conflicts between the remaining nobles who lust for more power and position. Soul Society might crumble apart and your clan's future in Soul Society lies upon your hand, Rukia." He watched her as she tried to register everything he'd just said in her already crumbled mind.

"But I'm just an adopted," She bit her lower lip and tried to find some reasoning to stop this stupid marriage thing.

"Since the day they've adopted you, all the rights and privilege upon you fell in their hands. They can do whatever they wanted in your future, whether I'll be your own misery or not, they don't care as long as it is for their own benefit."

"But Renji…" She searched his eyes, looking for something that might tell her that everything he had just said were all lies, but she failed to do so. "This is impossible! How the hell did Mimasa family decided to marry their son to a low class shinigami like me without anything title to hold except being a Kuchiki?"

"Mimasa family was a long time family friend of the Kuchiki's, and according to some humor, their son Keita-dono admitted that since he first saw you, when Kuchiki-taichou presented you to the nobles as his sister, he already fallen in love with you. Upon hearing that you'll be his future wife, he gladly accepted the marriage without any hesitation."

"But Niisama, what did he…?"

"He still doesn't know about it." He could see in her eyes how desperate she was to escape this marriage. "But he'll know it eventually when they ordered you to return home in Soul Society for the wedding."

Rukia once again bowed her head in defeat, knowing all her reasoning's were in vain.

"When will be the wedding?"

"They gave you three weeks to return, and if you don't they'll drag you back whether you like it or not. But the date about the marriage was not yet finalized.

Rukia shook her head, tears started to brim her eyes, but no she won't cry, not at all. She already experienced everything, even the most tragic things in life, but she never shed a tear in front of others and always wears her Kuchiki mask. It's just a marriage, it's just… but why does it hurts? Why it doesn't sound right? Why does it feel like she was going to be executed again? She gripped the hem of her skirt and closed her eyes, wishing that everything was just a dream, a very bad dream. When she opened her eyes, a very worried Renji greeted her vision. She smiled at her childhood best friend, knowing how hard it was for him to deliver her message.

"Geez Renji, you look so pale," she faked a laugh. "By the way, thanks for the news, I know how hard it was for you to explain everything to me. I'm really glad it was you who deliver it."

"DON'T SAY THAT!" He clenched his fist. "I DON'T DESERVE ANY THANKS FROM YOU!"

Rukia stared sadly at the yelling man in front of her.

"I'm sorry Rukia… I'm really sorry. I promised to not let you go again, but on the same breath I once again failed you. I'm sorry that I'm too…"

Rukia placed her hand on Renji's trembling fist.

"It's just a wedding Renji, I won't die." She smiled at his stupid reaction.

"But…"

"I'm fine. As a noble of the Kuchiki's this is my fate. And as part of it, my duty was to protect and take good care of it." She gripped his hand firmly. "Can I ask something from you?"

"Sure, what is it?" He started to smile.

"Can you please keep my impending marriage a secret, especially to Ichgo?" She gave him a pleading look.

Renji started to laugh at her begging, she looks so cute in her puppy dog eyes.

"Why are you laughing?" She scowled at him.

"Look at your face. You look…" He's not yet finish talking when Rukia gave him a kick in the knee. Renji hopped in pain while clutching his offended knee. "The hell, Rukia!" He once again stood in his full height and stared at her seriously. "That carrot top, you love him, right?" He once again laughed upon seeing her pale cheeks turned red.

"SHUT UP! I NEVER SAID THAT!"

"Oh come on Rukia, stop this freaking denial games of yours!" I can read you like an open book!" He teased her.

"Oh shut up!" A pregnant pause surrounds them for a moment, until Rukia stared at him seriously. "Whether I love him or not…It doesn't matter anymore." She smiled. "If I learned to admit my feelings, it'll just going to be too hard for me to move on. If his happiness is with someone else, I'll gladly support him with all my heart, even how hard it was for me, even it breaks my heart into pieces."

"Rukia…"

"Hey Renji, I need to go now, see you soon!" She waved at him and started to run away.

Renji clenched his fist. He loved Rukia, and she knows how much he cared for her. If only Ichigo doesn't show up, there was a possibility that he and Rukia might end up together. Unfortunately, that boy caught her heart but too foolish to notice it himself. He doesn't deserve her, not at all.

'_Rukia, Ichigo is such a bastard to ignore your feelings. You're too precious to be taken for granted.'_

Renji watched as she disapperead from his view.

Rukia was running away from Renji. When tiredness starts to swallow her whole body, she stopped on a nearby tree and weakly pressed her back on its trunk. Her violet orbs were hidden under her bangs, trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to fall. Everything happened so fast and she could do anything about it except to close her eyes and accept everything she couldn't fight back. He's happy and she's getting married and that's the end of their story. She sighed heavily, knowing how hard it was to fall in love with someone who doesn't love you back. She clutched he chest and pressed her back against the tree more firmly. She was on the verge of crying when suddenly rain started to pour, drenching every inch of her body. She ignored it, and let the rain drenched her whole being, washing all the failures and heart ache she's experiencing. The rain poured more heavily than ever, seems like the rain was a part of her life, pouring every time she's experiencing the worst thing in life, just like the death of Kaien-dono, and now the death of her own heart. She watched as the grounds turned into a pool of mud and noticed that the rain wasn't falling on her at all, despite the fact that it's still raining. She looked up and found a black umbrella hovering above her and shielding her from the angry rain.

"Walking without any umbrella? Just as expected from you, Rukia." She looked back at the familiar owner of the voice and found a smirking Ichigo. Half of his body was being soaked by the rain from trying to protect her from it.

"What are you doing?"

"Protecting you from the rain."

Rukia rolled her eyes. "Dumbass! Where's Inoue?" She looked away. "I thought you two have a… date?"

"Ah! She's home! We're about to enter a restaurant when suddenly rain started to fall. I remembered that you're too smart to bring your umbrella, when I told to Inoue that being a stupid you're going to run home without any freaking protection, she cancelled the date and ordered me to follow you. Unlike you, Inoue brought her own umbrella, so she insisted that she'll go home alone." He sighed. "But I guess this umbrella is useless, look at you."

Rukia looked at herself and found out that her clothes were really soaked with water. Her blouse clung to her body revealing every curvy part of it. She tried to cover it with her arms when suddenly Ichigo took off his school coat and gently placed it on her shoulders. He happily ruffled her damped hair using his free hand. Blush Started to play on Rukia's cheeks and she angrily slapped his hand away.

"MORON!DUMBASS!ASSHOLE!BAKA!IDIOT!FOOL!" She was trying to find more insulting words to throw at him. "BASTAR…" Ichigo Covered her mouth with his free hand.

"Oi! Watch your mouth Kuchiki!"What's wrong with you?"

Rukia struggled from his grip, while pulling his hand away from her mouth. Ichigo laughed at her attempt to escape. Rukia was turning redder now, being weak like this was a shame from a Kuchiki. How dare he to laugh at her weakness? Without any warning, she bit his hand, making Ichigo winced in pain and pulled away.

"AH! DAMN IT MIDGET! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" He cradled his offended hand, ignoring the fact that he accidentally throws away his umbrella.

"Fool! How dare you to shut me up like that?"

"Look Rukia, I'm just worried, why are you behaving like this?"He crunched down and pick up his muddy umbrella.

"Because you're a fool!" She watched Ichigo as he once again stood up in his full height while holding his umbrella over them.

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO INOUE! HOW DARE YOU TO LEAVE HER LIKE THAT! STUPID MORON!"

Ichigo blik twice before Rukia's words registered to his brain. "The hell! So that's the reason why you're shouting at me like a freaking house wife!"

Rukia was frozen to her spot. Blush climb up to her cheeks, but not from anger anymore. She hated how the term house wife made her blush furiously.

"I'M NOT YOUR FREAKING HOUSE WIFE! NOW LEAVE AND APOLOGIZE TO INOUE!" She ordered him.

"Rukia, calm down! She's fine! Honestly, she's the one who ordered me to follow you because I was too damn worried about you catching a cold after running under the rain!"

"Wha…What?"

"Don't make me repeat myself 'cause I won't! Now, stop this nonsense argument and let's go home!" He dropped his arm over her shoulder and pulled her closer to him.

Blush never left Rukia's cheeks when she noticed their close proximity. Being best of friends, they weren't allowed to cross this invisible boundary, not until now.

"Wha… what are you doing, Ichigo?" She hated herself from stammering. She tried to place a gap between their bodies, but Ichigo pulled her closer, and dragged her to walk beside him.

"Are you nuts? Come closer so we may fit under the umbrella. Don't complain, next time I'll buy a bigger one." He smiled at her.

Rukia's cheeks turned pinker. She couldn't breathe properly. Their closeness makes her brain stopped from functioning properly. His arms were warm and she felt sad, knowing that these arms belong to someone else. She looked away and tried to divert her thoughts away from him.

"Cat got your tongue?" He playfully squeezed her shoulder. "You're speechless, sounds not like you at all." He chuckled.

"Stupid Dumbass!" She muttered under her breath.

"You know…" He looked ahead and smiled. "…unlike you, Inoue loves to share an umbrella with me."

A pang of pain stabbed Rukia straight through her chest.

"…"

"When rain started to fall, Inoue will happily close her umbrella and snuggled beside me to share mine." He laughed which she rarely heard. "But just like you, she'll be quite for the rest of the walk." He grinned. "I still don't understand woman and their ways."

Unbeknownst to Ichigo, Rukia was clenching her fist. For her this fight is futile, especially when you know to yourself that you're the only one who's fighting. This kind of emotion is useless, this kind of feeling will on lead into vain, grasping to this emotion is like grasping into nothingness. Rukia bit her lower lip and pulled away from Ichigo.

"Hey Rukia, what's the matter? It's raining, you'll catch a cold!" He said worriedly.

But she never looked backed and continued to walk away. "I'm fine, I'm already soaked, I don't need any umbrella."

"Damn it Rukia! You're such a pain in the ass! Wait for me, midget!" He ran to catch her up.

When Rukia sensed that Ichigo was running, she ran too.

"Stupid midget! What are you doing?" He asked with irritation.

She looked back happily, "If you really wanted to follow me that badly, try to catch me idiot!" She ran faster.

"I swear you'll regret this!" A mischievous smile escaped his lips with menace. He threw his umbrella and let the rain soaked him.

'_If I suddenly disappeard, would you follow me like the way you're doing now?'_

Rukia asked herself sadly.


End file.
